I don’t respect intellectual dishonesty. Therefore, I am not sure that God if He exists would either. If what you are doing is some variation of Pascal’s wager, perhaps you are the one who is gambling. Pretending to love God to save one’s soul when you are not certain of His existence or involvement with humans strikes me as questionable behavior. You seem to base at least some of your views on Biblical teachings. I see no evidence that the Bible is truly the word of God. It seems to me to be rather the theological guesses of a multitude of other people whom I have no reason to believe know any more about the state of our existence than I do, and I know nothing for certain. Blind faith is obviously an attractive route to follow; and if it works for a person, more power to them. Whatever gets you through the night. However, to me, such thinking simply feels dishonest.